I'm only half homeschooled (;

There's this brand new highschool literally down the road from my neighborhood. Patriot. All of my bestfriends are going there this year as freshmen. & though my neighborhood technically isn't zoned for it, (we're just too ghetto), most of my friends from Sheffield are going as well. Therefore, I refer to Patriot as "my school". I have come to the conclusion, since the beginning of the school year, that I don't ever want to go to a public highschool. I'll probably post all about that some time soon. But if you asked me, I'd tell you I'm a student at Patriot, & only because it cracks me up to say it. I've gone to most of the JV football games with a group of my friends & I'm going to the "Fall Festival" this weekend with my boyfriend & some other close friends. I'm definitely gonna go see some of Patriot's basketball games, too(obviously). I really do, somewhat, feel like a part of the school. Supporting the school at sporting events, going to a real school dance, having tons of friends that are attending the school & all that jazz. It was definitely cute when someone came up to me & said, "OH! I didn't know you went here!"... "I don't actually, I'm homeschooled!" There was like a 15 second pause & then she gave me the saddest face ever & said, "Oh, does that suck?" I'm sure a smiled big & chuckled a bit before replying, "not at all."

REDNATION

FEAR THE PIONEER

I'm enjoying the "highschool experience" from a distance. (:

I've listened to this all night.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OHkvan-NFnM&ob=av2e
She obviously cannot write happy songs. Still love it though.

I'm alive!

My family gets crazy busy when school starts back up. Everyone's activities are just getting going for the year, schoolwork to do (obviously), choir, & really just hanging out with some of my friends. But oh man, I love the fall.

I think I'm pretty much at a place where I can successfully start blogging again.. ( i think )

I have been posting semi frequently on my art/photo blog. I was just messing around with the look of it like an hour ago.. I think it looks pretty nice.
Check it out: http://madelineclairesmashashwell.blogspot.com/

Song of the day: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X9YMU0WeBwU

):

I never update. I'm so sorry. You know how it is when you just live a fantastically exciting life where you're always busy with seeing people & going to all these incredible places? Cause I don't. Honestly, I'm on the internet ALL THE TIME & I still forget to post. I'll try to remember my blog a little more from time to time. c:

Feelin Good

GO SEE CAPTAIN AMERICA, IT'S MINT.

It's gonna be an awesome week.

Seenin some family, babysittin, doin some shoppin, seein some friends, yeah (:

Only one thing could make it better. But Mama & Papa keep saying "no". ):

um, random

this is for my mama..
it reminded me a lot of her.. so yeah
i'm such a sap (':

it's just music, right?

In general, I hate when parents over shelter their children & yes I'm using the word hate.

Homeschoolers, (unfortunately), over shelter their kids like nobodies business. I'm not saying all homeschooling parents do. I mean hey, look at me, I turned out like a normal teenager. And I do know a few families that are just as cool as we are. But I also know some FREAKS. Too harsh? Too bad. I feel a lot of anger towards parents who just socially DESTROY their children. It makes me kind of feel bad for the kids.. but not really (;

So when I come across a homeschooled teenager & ask, "hey, what kind of music do you listen to?" & they come back at me with "Chant, Classical, & Christian" music only, I tend to zone out & just think for a minute..

maybe they just really like that style. maybe they on their own just prefer that kind of stuff. listening to chant at 15 isn't that weird, is it? what if their parents aren't chill enough to let them listen to the real stuff. should i be listening to this kind of music too? am i the weird one?

When I snap back into it they usually then ask me what I like to listen to. I throw in some of my favorites & they just sit there with a blank expression on their face. I say a few more hoping that maybe they've heard of at least one of them. Nothing. I'm obviously some kind of a loser. Yeahh that's gotta be it.

I understand some parents restrictions on movies.. cause you can actually see all the crap in it & whatnot.. But music? I'm pretty sure those parents once listened to normal music too. It can't JUST be me. There's some pretty poor quality music out there, I admit. But when teens haven't even HEARD of The Beatles somethings wrong. Everyone knows them! It's pretty priceless when you mention Lady Gaga & they rant for an hour about how you're going to hell. That's the only one they've seem to heard about.. probably because their parents tell them stories of what a "immodest" person she is.

There's some really cruddy music in the world, but there's some really good stuff too. I'm not a sinner because I don't just listen to music that praises Jesus. There's nothing WRONG with music that does. I like a lot of it. But I have variety that these socially pathetic "homeschoolers" lack.

YOU'RE GIVING HOMESCHOOLERS A BAD NAME!

Sorry.. this all had to come out at some point.

Steubenville

I promised my aunt I'd do a big blog post telling everyone all about my weekend at The Franciscan University of Steubenville. So here goes nothing.

I guess the charismatic stuff just isn't really my thing. I wasn't digging the clapping DURING Mass..at all. I mean, we're not suppose to do that, right? I'm pretty sure God agrees with me. Mass isn't about playing games during the "Homily" & clapping to the beat of every song. The dancing around & hand motions just rubbed me the wrong way. I think it's a bad thing when I leave Mass angry..

But really, no one can seem to do Eucharistic Adoration like Steubenville can. That made the entire trip way more than worth it. I've had doubts along the way that maybe there isn't a God & us Catholics are all just crazy people worshiping some false belief. When I left Adoration that night.. I didn't have anymore doubts. People asked me to share what I felt & I couldn't describe it. The best way to say it is that I felt forgiven. I was overwhelmed in that moment to know that I can't lose Him. He won't back out on me. He won't be like everyone else, because he isn't & never will be. I'm not going to sit here & say that I've got the confidence to run around to all of my friends & tell them how Holy I am & how different I am because of my "experience". But I know I don't believe in nothing. I know I have something solid in my life that's never going away. I know there someone who loves me & wouldn't judge me. I'm a sinner, & he accepts that.

Okay. I cried. Good for me?
I was taken back by how many teens there mixed up their emotions with a spiritual experience.
The whole weekend was very much about how emotional we all got. Like, how long does it take for us all to start crying? Lets all cry so the people around us feel like we're close to God. Wrong. I'm going to say it like this:
I emotionally responded to a spiritual encounter.
Just because I cried doesn't make me a Holy-er person. My tears doesn't make my relationship with God any more meaningful. I was overwhelmed with my spiritual experience.. so I cried. I'm not expecting people to think higher of me because I reacted that way. You'd be surprised how many teens faked reactions to be like some of the people around them. I know someone who cried only because they WANTED to feel closer to God. But I also now other people who cried because the person next to them was. Adoration meant something to me. It either drew you closer to God or it didn't. But even the people who hardly reacted at all could have felt so much closer to god. It all depends on how you want to show it.

As for the people & the smaller things that happened over the weekend:

How was the food? If you ever consider going or are going next weekend, be warned. It sucked. You'd think they'd be able to feed us a little more healthily. Wasn't balanced at all. Breakfast was alright, but I swear, the burger I had Friday afternoon wasn't even meat.

Bedtime? Slept on the floor like a cool kid. My back won't ever be right again.

Music? I knew pretty much all of the songs. Bob Rice's voice made me want to stab myself with a fork but you get used to it I guess. I like most of that stuff anyways. Wasn't too bad when I just drowned him out with my own voice.

People? Never change. I've said it before & I'll say it again, teenage girls must DIE.

Small groups? Not sure what to take away from those.. Had a few good ones I guess.

Friends? LOVE THEM.

There was some REALLY interesting things that happened that last day though. Blogger is not the place for them though, sadly. Just know, it was BAAAAD. Poor Maddy. Hahahah, I'm such a tease.

Here are a few picturesss (:

the theme was "Rooted in Christ"

oh hey there Jesus

2,000 people

me & my sister (:

my sister & my friend

there are a lot more pictures but blogger is a pain in the ass.

If people ask me if I'd go back my answer would be yes. Just to able to go to THAT Adoration all over again. It was MORE than worth it because of that. I also said a beautiful confession with my favorite priest. That was also one of the highlights of my trip.

Thank you to the people that made me going possible.

smoooth

i forgot all about my brand new blog D:
sorryyy ):
i'll post soon.
BEEN BUSY.

sorry

I keep missing days!
I'm doing some long rant tomorrow, for sure (;

i hate teenagers.

everything has really sucked this week & things don't seem to be getting any better.

something has to change

so, it's spring break.
oh & sorry I've missed a few days of posting. Been a little busy.

So I was thinking the other day & I realized that I eat wayyy too much crud. It's really kind of sad. Too much freakin junk food lately. If I want to be the athlete I dream of being then my eating habits have to change. See, a real reason. Cause I hate when teenage girls who weigh like 90 lbs complain about being "fat". Oh, I'm not fat. I'm doing this for basketball. And so maybe I'll feel a little healthier after each meal. Wish me luck.

by the way, it's Holy Week.

a rant

Some things just really set me off & sometimes it bothers me for days.

I know a lot of people my age who are just some really ungrateful people. They're so selfish and most times they love to tell everyone just how much about their lives sucks. Some of these kids give teenagers a bad name, (as if we don't already have one).
I think a lot of times my friends forget the point of having PARENTS. Their parents don't know about half the stuff going on in their kids lives simply because the kids refuse to have any kind of relationship with them. Dude, I don't know about them but I could never get by on friends alone. If you don't have your family, what do you have?
I tell my parents what's going on constantly. I never have to worry about what they're gonna say because no matter what it always makes me feel better. There is something that your parents can say to you that your friends could never. There is some kind of comfort they give that can only come from them. They who know you better than any of your friends ever will.
Don't get me wrong. I do have certain friends that I talk to about things alllll the time. And they know how to cheer me up when I'm down or give me some helpful advice. But even my bestfriend ever hears it all after my parents do.
If you can't trust that your parents are always going to be there to listen to you, then your obviously giving them little to no credit at all. Don't complain to me about how much you hate your parents and don't even try to tell me how they aren't there for you. Maybe if you stop bitching about them and actually go make things better, you'll be happier.

I love my parents.

these days♥

So yesterdayy, I went to this fun fair thing at an elementary school near the house. I went with some of my bestfriends and met some really cool doods too.

It'd take forever to type about everything we did there.
So I guess I'll just say that I'm gonna remember that day forever.
(:

lets cut the crap

who are we trying to fool?
what are we constantly trying to prove?
that we can get get by without the most important things in life?
what a joke.

hey,
i got my family.
i got my friends.
i got my faith.
i have what's most important in life and i couldn't get by without them.

just one of those things

Let's pretend I have these friends, (HA KEEP DREAMING), anyways, these two friends are probably some of the closest ones I've got. I tell them each a lot. But I go to each of them for different reasons and normally about different things. It's not because I like one more than the other. It's not because I'm afraid to tell the other certain things. But sometimes I only feel comfortable telling one of them something. I always feel as if it's some kind of a competition. Because, well you know, I'm totally worth being fought over, duh. jkay.
Now let's pretend these two friends of mine don't get along. Like, at all. And let's say that they quite often feel like telling me how they feel about one another. Oh no, they don't talk to EACH OTHER. Pssh, who does that? No they take the safe route and only say things the other can't hear. Or they decide that they both want to hangout with me at the same time JUST so they can completely ignore each other and make things awkward. Smart.

Let's pretend this all really bothers me.
And let's pretend I'm NOT about to explode.

It's just one of those things.

welcome back, me

I don't really know how to go about this..
For god sakes, it's been like a year since I really wrote on this thing.

What's happened since then ?
Too much. Sorry, I don't feel like going into detail.
But there are a few more important things that happened that I would like to mention.

Liiiike my new, tiny, beautiful, perfect, pure, baby sister.
Ohh, Mara. Just six pounds and six little ounces she is. She is just perfect. That's the only word I can use to describe her, honestly. Thank you, God.

And I'd also like to say that basketball was good this season. Very good. Had a great coach and met some really awesome people. My team also won the 15-18 GBA Girl's Championship. First time I've been on a team that won something big like that. I learned a lot about myself as a player this season..

So, I'll be posting later I guess.

Woah.

I think it's time I started writing on my blog again.
I'm gonna really have to change the look of this thing..so dated.
It's been literally, almost a year. That's craazy dude.
Yeah, I'm gonna try posting like every other day now.
Hooray.

Annnnnnnd......

Now I'm 14 years old.

HOT DOG!

Dude I'm soooooo super stupendously happy right now.

PAPA GOT ME BEATLES ROCK BAND! My dad is so amazingly awesome. He gave it to me tonight instead of tomorrow. HAHA. Apparently he couldn't help but give it to me tonight. TIME TO GO PLAY! WOOOO! MAN IM STAYING UP ALLLL NIGHT LONG!

Mama also already got me a present. She got me basketball stuff! WOO BABY! That stuff is so awesome! She got me that and cheese. I know I'm weird. But that's what I wanted. I WANTED A BLOCK OF CHEESE! IS THAT WEIRD?! But because she's awesome she actually got me my cheese. Haha.

I love my parents.

ENOUGH NONSENSE.

GOODBYE.

:P

Haha.

My throat hurts.
I didn't have to go anywhere early this morning.
One more day until I'm 14.
I got lemonade.
One of my friends is going to my game tomorrow! Woot!
I miss my friends.
I'm really bored.
I finally am going babysitting again next Friday.
I need new pants.
I'm in all black.
I'm listening to Paramore.
I CANT STOP COUGHING.
I'm excited about my game tomorrow, and NOT my birthday.
I'm really bored.
I'm leaving now.
I'm saying goodbye.

Goodbye.