I promised my aunt I'd do a big blog post telling everyone all about my weekend at The Franciscan University of Steubenville. So here goes nothing.
I guess the charismatic stuff just isn't really my thing. I wasn't digging the clapping DURING Mass..at all. I mean, we're not suppose to do that, right? I'm pretty sure God agrees with me. Mass isn't about playing games during the "Homily" & clapping to the beat of every song. The dancing around & hand motions just rubbed me the wrong way. I think it's a bad thing when I leave Mass angry..
But really, no one can seem to do Eucharistic Adoration like Steubenville can. That made the entire trip way more than worth it. I've had doubts along the way that maybe there isn't a God & us Catholics are all just crazy people worshiping some false belief. When I left Adoration that night.. I didn't have anymore doubts. People asked me to share what I felt & I couldn't describe it. The best way to say it is that I felt forgiven. I was overwhelmed in that moment to know that I can't lose Him. He won't back out on me. He won't be like everyone else, because he isn't & never will be. I'm not going to sit here & say that I've got the confidence to run around to all of my friends & tell them how Holy I am & how different I am because of my "experience". But I know I don't believe in nothing. I know I have something solid in my life that's never going away. I know there someone who loves me & wouldn't judge me. I'm a sinner, & he accepts that.
Okay. I cried. Good for me?
I was taken back by how many teens there mixed up their emotions with a spiritual experience.
The whole weekend was very much about how emotional we all got. Like, how long does it take for us all to start crying? Lets all cry so the people around us feel like we're close to God. Wrong. I'm going to say it like this:
I emotionally responded to a spiritual encounter.
Just because I cried doesn't make me a Holy-er person. My tears doesn't make my relationship with God any more meaningful. I was overwhelmed with my spiritual experience.. so I cried. I'm not expecting people to think higher of me because I reacted that way. You'd be surprised how many teens faked reactions to be like some of the people around them. I know someone who cried only because they WANTED to feel closer to God. But I also now other people who cried because the person next to them was. Adoration meant something to me. It either drew you closer to God or it didn't. But even the people who hardly reacted at all could have felt so much closer to god. It all depends on how you want to show it.
As for the people & the smaller things that happened over the weekend:
How was the food? If you ever consider going or are going next weekend, be warned. It sucked. You'd think they'd be able to feed us a little more healthily. Wasn't balanced at all. Breakfast was alright, but I swear, the burger I had Friday afternoon wasn't even meat.
Bedtime? Slept on the floor like a cool kid. My back won't ever be right again.
Music? I knew pretty much all of the songs. Bob Rice's voice made me want to stab myself with a fork but you get used to it I guess. I like most of that stuff anyways. Wasn't too bad when I just drowned him out with my own voice.
People? Never change. I've said it before & I'll say it again, teenage girls must DIE.
Small groups? Not sure what to take away from those.. Had a few good ones I guess.
Friends? LOVE THEM.
There was some REALLY interesting things that happened that last day though. Blogger is not the place for them though, sadly. Just know, it was BAAAAD. Poor Maddy. Hahahah, I'm such a tease.
Here are a few picturesss (:
2,000 people
me & my sister (:
my sister & my friend
If people ask me if I'd go back my answer would be yes. Just to able to go to THAT Adoration all over again. It was MORE than worth it because of that. I also said a beautiful confession with my favorite priest. That was also one of the highlights of my trip.
Thank you to the people that made me going possible.
6 Comments Of Wonder:
Since I joined the church just a few years ago, I have never been to anything like Steubenville, so I was very curious as to what sorts of things you do there. I'm glad that you were able to get a very positive experience from at least part of it (and a very important part). I think I would have reacted the same as you to the clapping during Mass...it just feels so wrong. It sounds like a wonderful, must have experience. Thank you so much for sharing. :)
Awesome post!!!! Ugh for Maddy. Love the name of your blog BTW!
That means a lot Tanya, thanks (:
Thank you Mrs. Kasinski !! (:
Bwaaaah poor Maddy even though I'm not sure what happened. :(
I've only been to maybe one Mass in my entire life, with my family in Alabama. I liked it a lot more than I like the Southern Baptist sermons I get to hear every Sunday... Nonetheless, I can't say much about the clapping and whatnot, 'cause I don't know much about all this.
No idea what Adoration is... I feel bad... I think it's pretty awesome though, to have an experience like that. I'm in that God-might-not-be-out-there-and-we're-just-placebo-ing-ourselves-to-make-us-feel-better-about-existence-er-something stage.
I cry because I know I'm not close to God and have the spiritual range of a teaspoon. :/
I'll take you to Ohio with me next year, Drea (:
Yeah. You stop here in West Virginia, and YOU TAKE ME TO OHIO!
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